


Careless

by deathmarkedlove_archivist



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-29
Updated: 2007-01-29
Packaged: 2019-05-09 07:59:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14712212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathmarkedlove_archivist/pseuds/deathmarkedlove_archivist
Summary: Spike meets a Doctor that will change his unlife forever, as well as her own. A S/B ship. Starts from the end of Blood Ties. PG





	Careless

**Author's Note:**

> Written by: Richess a.k.a A.N.H. Richards
> 
> Disclaimer: All Characters belong to J. Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, the W.B. and/or Fox Production and etc.
> 
> Summary: Spike meets a Doctor that will change his unlife forever, as well as her own. A S/B ship. Starts from the end of Blood Ties.
> 
> Song: Careless Whispers by Wham
> 
> Authors notes: Zigiweeble, my first beta on the beginning part of this fic. To Spike Lover UK thanks for the great ideas if it wasn't for your great ideas I would have never finished this fic. And to my beta, Python Chick, for all of her bootylicious beta-ing and all of her wonderful comments during my battle to finish this fic.

Part 1

 

 

Guilt is not the worst feeling that a human being can feel. Not being able to rewrite your wrongs is. I never thought how my actions would hurt anyone, or anything. I was just doing my job. I was just doing what they told me.

 

Like hell I was. I created it...to kill. Slowly. I will never forget that day almost a year ago. He saved me. He broke that thing's neck. It was going to kill me. He never saw me. At least I don't think he did. After they destroyed it. I left. They paid me off and I began my work. Underground.

 

I live like them now. I don't trust them. Anyone. And although I have been thankful for my creative mind, I have been cursed by it.

 

I am a monster. I am a demon. I should die. I want to die. I should have thought about my actions. I was like a madman creating a bomb. Turning it on, and then wishing I could turn it off. I cursed them. I killed them. And now I can't make it right. I can never undo my wrongs.

 

I didn't think that was my problem. I never knew their true agenda or I would have tried to stop them. My new job is beginning to make me sick working for them.

 

They, them, they're all the same. Cruel and heartless; the real demons in human clothing. They are just as evil as the last were.

 

I can't do this.

 

I can't go up there.

 

I'm here. Oh God. What if? What if there is nothing? Nothing for me.

 

 

* * *

 

 

She stepped forward. He put his hand around her shoulder and introduced her. She spoke aimlessly and the music began.

 

The saxophone sound throughout the bar she felt her throat tighten, as she took her cue.

 

I feel so unsure

As I take your hand

And lead you to the dance floor

As the music dies

Something in your eyes

Calls to mind a silver screen

And you're its sad goodbyes

 

I'm never gonna dance again

Guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

I should have known better that to cheat a friend

And waste this chance that I've been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

 

Some cheers and murmurs came up from the crowd. She still kept her eyes closed, until the next verse.

 

Time can never mend

The careless whispers of a good friend

To the heart & mind

Ignorance is kind

There's no comfort on the truth

Pain is all you'll find

 

I'm never gonna dance again

Guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend I know you're not a fool

I should have known better that to cheat a friend

And waste this chance that I've been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

 

His face for months appeared in her dreams. What she had done to him and so many others. Human and demons had died for absolutely nothing that day. Her eyes scanned the crowd in front of her. If they knew what she had participated in for the last three years of her life they would probably lynch her.

 

Tonight the music seems so loud

I wish that we could lose this crowd

Maybe it's better this way

We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say

We could have been so good together

We could have lived this dance forever

But now who's gonna dance with me? Please stay

 

I'm never gonna dance again

Guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

I should have known better that to cheat a friend

And waste this chance that I've been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

 

Now that you've gone

Now that you've gone

Now that you've gone

Was what I did so wrong

So wrong that you had to leave me alone

 

Don't lie, lie. Don't lie, lie

Don't lie, lie. Don't lie, lie

 

She finished to hear a roar of applause. She looked at all the demons in the bar. The Host walked up to her, gave her a peck on the check, said something to the crowd and helped her down off the stage.

 

"So what did you see?" she asked.

 

"You are going to save the one who saved you. A vampire. Blond. But..." The Host trailed off.

 

"But what?" she asked anxiously.

 

"It's futile honey. You should just leave it alone. It'll go bad for you sweetie. And I mean deadly bad." he said sadly.

 

She smiled, definitely not what he had expected. "I think I kind of deserve it after the things I have done."

 

The Host touched her cheek gently and brushed back a piece of her chocolate brown hair. Her big brown eyes looked at him strangely. There was something that he wasn't telling her. But she knew that she shouldn't ask. She really didn't want to. She gave the Host a quick good-bye hug and left.

 

"Hey boss what's with her?" the bartender asked, staring at The Host.

 

"I really don't know. Just pain. It makes no sense. Guilt. Hatred. Isolation. Something just off about her. She's here for a higher purpose and doesn't know it." he said, shaking his head.

 

The bartender shrugged turned back to the sink.

 

"Hey, you know where that chick went? The one that was singing.? The doctor? The black human chick. The looker." The Host turned to see a vampire standing behind him.

 

"No."

 

"Shit. I was hoping she could patch up my friend without going through her employers." The vampire turned away.

 

"Who are her employers?" he asked.

 

Angel walked into the bar and headed over to The Host who was talking with another vampire.

 

"Wolfram and Hart. She's the best demon patcher around. She does stuff for free too, but only Wolfram and Hart seems to know where to find her." The vampire turned, shrugging his shoulders around and left not even seeing the dark figure that followed him.

 

* * *

 

 

Angel pumped the vampire for more information before he staked him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Part 2

 

 

"You can't do this. You have a contract." Lilah stated

 

"Actually it expired two months ago. Holland and I were re-negotiating the terms. And well...he's dead." she stated.

 

"Sabari, we value your skills and we would hate to lose you. You are such a valuable asset to Wolfram and Hart. Maybe you could just take some time off...Think things through." Lindsay said calmly.

 

"I might not come back." Sabari answered.

 

"Fine then. But you can call us at anytime you need us, Sabari."

 

She smiled at Lindsay. "Thank you. I'll still work on our special project. Goodbye, Lilah, Lindsay."

 

Sabari stepped out the door.

 

"You can't just let her go." Lilah snapped.

 

"Yes we can, Lilah. Just let her go."

 

"But the senior partners will..."

 

"We are not even close. She will live to complete her higher purpose. Holland told me all about it." Lindsay loosened his tie and sat down heavily in the chair.

 

"If this blows up in your face..." Lilah stopped and gave him a dirty look and left his office.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Part 3

 

 

Angel watched the woman bring down suitcases of clothes and other articles of clothing into a moving truck. Three large men were with her moving her furniture.

 

"Wolfram and Hart's men." Angel whispered out loud.

 

They finished packing the truck and all three men got into the truck. She handed the driver a piece of paper and the truck left.

 

Another girl came down the stairs of an upper level condo and hugged the young woman. They said something the Angel couldn't hear because of car roaring past and then the girl went back to her apartment. Angel crossed the street and looked inside the woman's care. He had found out that her name was Sabari Kean.

 

Actually Dr. Sabari Kean, born in Toronto, Ontario in 1978; an extremely bright woman who finished high school at age 16 and graduated medical school in four years. And worked for the army for the last two years in some undercover facility. She moved to L.A. in June 2000 and has worked for Wolfram and Hart ever since. Angel wanted to find out where some of their medical facilities were to hunt down Dru and Darla.

 

 

* * *

 

 

She walked out of her condo to see a tall man standing at the bottom of the stairs. She locked the door and put the keys in an envelope, leaving it in the mailbox for her landlord. She picked up her purse and a box of CDs, and continued down the stairs, hoping that he didn't see her fear. She knew exactly who he was and what he was.

 

"So you come here to kill me, Angel?" she asked in a steady voice.

 

"No." He stood sort of stunned. "You know who I am?"

 

"Of course. I don't think anyone that works for Wolfram and Hart doesn't know who you are."

 

"So, where you going?"

 

"Away; to fix something that I should have done a long time ago. I've quit the firm, so if you want something from me sorry I can't get it." she tried to brush past Angel but was grabbed harshly by him.

 

"I want to know about two vampires..." His dark brown eyes stared into hers. "They should be bacon crispy right about now."

 

"Betty and Veronica?"

 

"Who?"

 

"Darla and Drusilla...the blond and the brunette. Archie comics?" Angel looked at the girl blankly. "Never mind. Yeah they came in burnt and in pain. We did what we could. They left a couple of days later not quite healed but they left nonetheless. Now can I go?" She squirmed to get out of his painful grasp.

 

Angel released her. She put the box into her car and got in. Angel stared at her for a minute. He walked around to the driver side and looked at her.

 

She started the car as he bore a hole through her temple. She breathed deeply. "I hope that you win this battle because the war hasn't even begun yet. They want you. That's the only reason why you are not dead. Think about it."

 

Angel looked at her quizzically as the car drove off and headed down the street.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Part 4

 

 

It had been a week since she arrived in Sunnydale and nothing. Maybe he'd left. Maybe he had died already.

 

Walking around in cemeteries and dark alleys looking for vampire was not her idea of fun. She walked until she found a bar, "Willy's."

 

She stepped inside, every demon turned and looked at her like she was fresh new walking meal. She sat by the bar.

 

"What would you like, Miss?" annoying voice boomed to her.

 

"A cosmo and some info." Sabari answered, studying the man's face.

 

"Hey, Willy here don't snitch this is a..." he stopped when she dipped her fingers into her cleavage and pulled out a hundred dollar bill. "Is that Benji, I see there."

 

"Only if you give," she replied. "I'm looking for a vampire, he's a bleach blond around 5'11, slim build."

 

"Oh well there are lot's of..." Willy stopped as a vampire sat down next to the girl.

 

"Hey there." he said eyeing the young beauty.

 

"Get lost, vamp. I am having a conversation here and I don't need you getting in my way. As I was saying bleach blond, 5'11, male, Caucasian." she continued ignoring the stare from the vampire.

 

"Sounds like Spike." a voice blurted out from the end of the bar.

 

A Miquet demon turned toward Sabari. She examined the yellowish looking demon with blades sticking out of its head.

 

"Do you know where I could find him?" she asked.

 

"I have no clue where to find that traitor." he mumbled as he turned his back toward the human girl.

 

"You should ask the Slayer." Willy suggested quietly. She handed him the bill and downed the drink in one gulp, then headed for the door.

 

The vampire followed her out.

 

 

* * *

 

 

She knew that the vampire had followed her out. She turned on her taser gun and walked slowly down the street. He followed at a distance, making sure to never lose her.

 

Sabari walked, trying to keep an eye on the vampire following her. Fear coursed through her body but if she had to, she could defend herself.

 

She walked past a cemetery. She heard him running up behind her. She turned to see the vampire being tackled by someone. The two struggled and fought. The vampire hit the other guy and sent him flying backward, he landed on his feet. She recognized his face instantly. The vampire turned back toward her and Spike tackled him again. He got up quickly and staked the vampire.

 

Sabari looked wide-eyed as Spike got turned toward her. "You all right?"

 

"Oh, what have I done?" She crumpled to the ground in front of Spike, sobbing.

 

He looked at her as if she was crazy. "You...you all right?"

 

"I've been thinking about you for over a year now. I've wondered what became of you. And now you save my life not once, but twice. I'm sorry. God, I am so sorry for what I did to you." she sobbed.

 

"I have no clue what you are talking about?"

 

"Spike. You are Spike aren't you?" she asked, getting up slowly.

 

"How do you..."

 

"Hostile 17." she said quietly

 

 

* * *

 

Part 5

 

 

Spike couldn't believe his ears. He really couldn't believe what this woman was telling him.

 

"So, let me get this straight. You design these chips to control serial killers and pedophiles and the United States government wanted to you to design the chip for demons." Spike reiterated.

 

"Yes. But that's because they told me that all demons were evil and that they were trying to kill the human race. I was being hailed a hero to humanity and I believed it. I didn't know what Dr. Walsh was doing. I had no clue about Adam. I only found out when he escaped what their ultimate agenda was. And in a matter of weeks this whole place was upside down. I found out that they were experimenting on soldiers. Giving them drugs. Implanting chips into them. I couldn't take it. I began to develop a way to take out the chips."

 

She sighed before continuing, "See to create a cure you must first create the virus. My final day of work was that day when you and those people stopped the slaughter that Adam started. I found out how to remove the chips without permanent damage. I had the papers in my hand when the chaos started. I ran before a demon could get a hold of me but I dropped the papers and they were destroyed by a fire that had started. I hid under a desk and a demon was coming for me and you...you stopped him. You saved my life and know I owe you yours back, even if it does turn you into a killer again. Most of the other demons have died by now but you survived and there is a reason."

 

He followed her in silence. They walked toward a house about two blocks away from the cemetery. She invited him in.

 

"I could remove them." she said.

 

"What? Them?"

 

"Yes. There's always a back up." she smiled slightly bringing down the stairs to a basement.

 

The basement looked like a surgical room. There were two people down there checking equipment.

 

"Dr. Kean is this the subject?" a young male said, grinning at Spike.

 

"I don't know yet, Cary. Hold your horses," She turned to Spike. "Do you want to be our subj...I mean do you want the chip out?"

 

The events of the last couple of months seem to be flooding his head at that moment. His last remembrance almost seemed weird as if he were outside of himself looking in. Buffy walking into her house and him trying to follow her and the invisible barrier keeping him out. His face looked so stunned, bewildered, and hurt.

 

"Bloody well right. Let's get this done."

 

"It's going to take sometime before I can do this; about a week. I am going to need you to stay here."

 

"Whatever you want. You can have me as your sex slave for a week if it'll get this bleeding chip out." Spike replied.

 

"It don't think that will be necessary," Sabari laughed, the blood rushing to her cheeks. Then she suddenly stopped and Spike looked at her. "But then again...."

 

Spike raised his scarred eyebrow at her with a wink. She turned down a hall as he followed closely behind her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"So do you think that you might just have created a monster, again?" Cary asked her.

 

"Well I guess we'll know when he wakes up." she replied taking a sip of her tea.

 

"And rips out our throats." her other nurse, Trina, grumbled as she left the kitchen.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Part 6

 

 

A little over a week had passed. The surgery was over and Spike was whole again. He woke up feeling refreshed and very chipless. His first instinct was for the mayhem and destruction that his demon craved. But her eyes stopped him.

 

After a week of talking to her and sharing his experiences with Sabari, he really liked her. And in listening to her, the vampire had found out a lot about Captain Cardboard in the process. Meanwhile Sabari listened to most of Spike's unlife story, especially his adaptation after the chip

 

"Hi." Sabari said softly.

 

"What's up, Doc?"

 

"Just timing you."

 

"On what?"

 

"There's a pool going on downstairs."

 

"Lemme guess. On who am I going to kill first?"

 

She smiled, nodding. "What are you going to do, Spike? Are you going to go and help people or are you going to go back to killing them."

 

"You assumed right. But..." he began.

 

"But what?"

 

"There something else."

 

"Something else?" Sabari searched his face and found the answer rather too quickly for Spike's liking. "You mean someone else?"

 

"She's not just a girl..." Spike for some reason felt safe in confiding with her. Shoot, she was the woman who had given him back his bite; he owed her everything.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Spike reached his crypt he was shocked to see Dawn waiting there for him.

 

"Spike!" She jumped off of the couch in surprise.

 

"What are you doing here, Nibblet?"

 

"Buffy said that she hadn't seen you in a couple of days so I thought..."

 

"So you thought what? I'd left or someth..." Spike gripped onto the chair for support as a searing pain waved through his head.

 

"What's wrong? I can get Buffy? Is it the chip?" Dawn asked rapidly as she tried to help Spike who brushed her off.

 

When he turned around she could she a patch of his hair was shorter than the rest.

 

"You got it out?" Dawn gasped.

 

"Nibblet why don't you go to your big sis. I didn't get anything out." He threw his duster on the chair and a bottle of painkillers fell out. Dawn quickly picked up the contents and read the label.

 

"Yeah, right, Spike, my Mom had these pills when she came out of the hospital. You did get it out!"

 

Spike was way too defeated and his head was throbbing, he nodded his head slightly. He looked at Dawn her frightened statement quickly turned to one of curiosity.

 

"Are you going to be evil again?"

 

"Yes. No. I dunno. Leave me alone." he grumbled.

 

"You love Buffy don't you?"

 

"What?"

 

She pursed her lips together and gave him 'I know you really don't want me to repeat myself, do you?' look.

 

"Don't bother denying it. I know. All the guys I have crushes on have a crush on my sister. Well except for Riley although I did like him near the end. But that's always the way it goes. Well the way the monks made it go." She scrunched her forehead as she completed the last sentence.

 

"You have a crush on me?" Spike picked up his head.

 

"Uhhhh. Well..." Suddenly Spike's crypt door burst open.

 

"Good you're still here come on we have to go. Buffy's in trouble." Willow looked at Dawn in shock then at Spike. "Buffy has been looking for you everywhere, Dawn. And you've had her hear all this time."

 

"Hey, I just got here!" Spike tried to defend himself.

 

"Spike you forgot..." Sabari walked into the crypt definitely knowing that she was risking her life to bring him the rest of the medicine that he would need this time of night.

 

Willow and Dawn spun around to she the woman standing in the door.

 

"We need to go, Spike. Now!" Willow grabbed his and Dawn's hands and lead them toward the door.

 

"Sabari, stay here!" Spike told her.

 

"Like hell! You're still my patient and I'm coming with you. My demon Hippocratic oath." she sighed as she followed them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Part 7

 

 

Buffy fell backward as the demon advanced on her. She could hear Glory clapping in the background as the Pulosa demon grabbed Buffy's arms.

 

For once she wished that she hadn't worn her fighting halter. The demons skin emitted small electric shocks when it came in contact with anything warmer that itself. She tried to wrench herself out of the painful grasp.

 

"Dreg, Jinx, I really must thank you for this. After having me dropped from the sky, this bitch is going to get what she deserves." Glory told her minions.

 

Buffy tried to wriggle out of its grip but the demon held on tighter, shocking her harder. Her body shook from the pressure building up inside of her, her heart beating fast. She looked a few feet away at Giles and Xander out cold. Buffy was shocked when she saw Spike, Willow, Dawn and some woman that Buffy had never seen before emerge from the woods.

 

The woman clubbed Jinx on the back of the head and he crumpled to the ground, Willow following suit with Dreg. Glory turned around as Willow began to chant.

 

Spike dove after the Pulosa demon, knocking both it and Buffy to the ground. Buffy gasped for air and cried in relief that the demon was off of her.

 

Buffy turned to see the unknown woman and Glory fighting. Well, if you could call it fighting. More like Glory was swinging and the woman was running for her life.

 

"That's not even a Prada. How do you say flea market?" Sabari quipped, remembering Spike's description of the Hell God

 

"And that dress so 1999," Glory took a swing at her, the woman ducked just in time. Glory's hand shattered the tear that was directly behind the woman. "And don't get me started on those roots..."

 

Spike broke the Pulosa demon's neck quickly and was about to help her up Buffy when he saw Glory turn on Willow. Sabari jumped on her back and was quickly thrown over Glory's shoulder onto the ground.

 

Buffy got up groggily as Dawn began to run toward her. Buffy wanted to scream for Dawn to hide but she couldn't. Buffy's eyes pleaded with Spike's. As if in slow motion, he turned to see Dawn coming toward them.

 

Giles got up slowly and crawled over to Buffy.

 

Glory grabbed Sabari by the shoulders and flung her into Willow.

 

"I'm really going to have to teach you guys a painful lesson." Glory shouted, trying to sound like she was about to do something regrettable. She grabbed Dawn by her throat stopping her in mid-stride. She lifted Dawn a foot off of the ground. Spike growled as he charged Glory.

 

"Xander!" Giles yelled. As Glory released her, Dawn fell to the floor unconscious

 

Xander quickly grabbed a hold of Dawn and cradled her in his arms as he lifted her off the ground. Willow and Sabari slowly got up off the ground in time to see Spike and Glory fighting. Everything that he threw at her didn't even stun her. She backhanded him and sent him reeling in a tree. Spike quickly regained his focus. Sabari was about to go and help him when Willow grabbed her arms holding her back. Giles helped Buffy off the ground.

 

Spike backhanded Glory and her head simply turned to the side, then she head butted him knocking him to the ground.

 

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to hit a lady?" Glory asked.

 

"Yeah. Of course. That's why I'm hitting you."

 

Buffy regained her composure got up, so did Jinx and Dreg.

 

She charged at Glory only to be batted away like a fly, but not before something dropped out of her pocket. Buffy hit the stump left by the shattered tree. Spike felt like he was floating only to realize that he was actually being lifted off the ground.

 

Before he knew what happened, he was next Glory held Spike to her body. She turned to face Buffy.

 

"So what's it gonna be Buffy? Your boyfriend here or the key?" Spike knees were slightly bent his right cheek pressed against Glory's left. He looked at Buffy, whose face read pure and utter panic. He looked toward his chest, the end of a pointy stake that was pressed against his shirt directly above his heart.

 

"I did say that I'd have to teach your girlfriend here a lesson. It's just surprises me that she'd have a demon boyfriend. But that's besides the point."

 

Buffy's eyes darted back from Dawn to Spike. The decision was easy but she didn't want to make it regardless.

 

'Don't worry, Slayer.' Spike mouthed to Buffy. He smiled slightly, trying to reassure her that everything would be fine as he looked into Buffy's pained eyes.

 

Buffy watched as if almost on slow motion. Spike pushed Glory's hand toward his chest. Spike gave Buffy one last look before he crumbled into a pile of dust by Glory's feet.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Part 8

 

 

"Well, that wasn't supposed to happen." Glory said, sounding disappointed.

 

"Discede!" Willow shouted as she threw the dust on Glory and Giles threw it on Dreg and Jinx. All three disappeared.

 

Willow fell to the ground and Giles dove to catch her. Sabari stood silent.

 

"It's wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to die. He wasn't supposed to die. I did all this for nothing. For nothing." She turned around leaving the Scoobies by themselves.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Buffy kept up appearances, as the Scoobies couldn't believe Spike's sacrifice. When Dawn woke up, she cried over Spike.

 

Buffy remained stone-faced only commenting, "Spike finally did the right thing, for the right reason."

 

 

* * *

 

 

"What's wrong Sabari?" Cary asked, it had been hours since she'd left.

 

'Nothing." she replied softly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Okay, she was in the shower for an hour. What's wrong with her?"

 

"Well, if I had to guess, our demon friend either killed someone or he's dead." Cary answered.

 

"Maybe." Trina contemplated.

 

"And you know that she doesn't take that well. Especially when she feels responsible. Yeah remember that Ernatche demon."

 

"Yeah when she died, Sabari did take that hard. I don't know why? They're just demons."

 

"Don't let her ever hear you say that."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Part 9

 

 

Once in her own room, Buffy let it go and cried. She was crying over Spike.

 

As soon as her head hit the pillow she was out like a light, that's when they visited her for the first time and the last time.

 

"Celia?"

 

"Yes, Buffy?"

 

"Am I dreaming?"

 

"Kind of."

 

"Is something wrong?"

 

"Yes."

 

"What?"

 

"Spike is gone."

 

"I know." Buffy replied sadly.

 

"You can do something." Celia began. She paused briefly and then continued, "It's too late."

 

"What? Why is it too late? He sacrificed himself for Dawn and me. If you can bring him back then..."

 

"Someone else has already sacrificed for him. She has fulfilled her destiny." Celia said, crying.

 

Buffy hugged her young cousin. "I don't understand."

 

"That's okay there is nothing that you can do for her anymore. Good bye, Buffy." Celia said disappearing into the air.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Buffy bolted from her bed, Spike's duster wrapped tightly around her. She knew where she had to go.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Part 10

 

 

She walked toward the shadowy figure to her right and then saw his familiar face.

 

"Why are you in my dream, Holland?"

 

"It's not a dream, Sabari." He stepped forward and touched her cheek. "I'm glad that you didn't come to my wine-tasting party."

 

"Well, I am too, Holland. But why are you here?" Why am I here?"

 

"They want to talk to you."

 

"They?"

 

"The First."

 

"The First?"

 

"You remember them don't you?" Holland prodded.

 

"Yes, when I was little..." her voice trailed off as she remembered.

 

"When you were little they visited you often."

 

"They scared me."

 

"But you felt a connection to them. That is why you are overly compassionate. That is why you do the things you do, because the truth is too much to handle."

 

"That doesn't explain the Initiative or Wolfram and Hart."

 

"With the Initiative you thought that you were doing good; with us you were trying to make amends, with them." Holland pointed to figures with their distorted faces.

 

"And Adam?"

 

"He made his deal many years ago to become what he was."

 

"He taught me in medical school. He was my favourite professor, and they turned him into a..."

 

"Sorry, hon, he did it to himself. He made a deal. Like you will."

 

"Like I will?" she asked as she huffed a breath of disbelief. "You think that I would make a deal to become something like Adam or a demon of some sort. I don't think so."

 

"There are worse things." Holland replied sadly.

 

"Really? Like what?"

 

"You can bring him back. You can get rid of the guilt. That's all you've ever wanted Sab, to get rid of the guilt and they can do that for you."

 

"And at what price?"

 

"That depends on you."

 

Her heart suddenly felt heavy her stomach turned as thought of the past flooded her mind the screams of people and demons. The blood on her hands the smell of decaying flesh and acids. Looking at the mutilated bodies of demons and the people that she experimented on in the name of science. Then she saw his face pale lying on the cold steel table. It was relaxed and angelic his skin smooth and perfect his lips slightly parted and dry. They made the incision, his blood poured like red wine. His eyes opened during the procedure staring into her. Into her soul. That was her exact thought. He was unconscious but it's like he was damning her for eternity, it was that night that she had had enough of her work with the Initiative, but soon after she found some records on Dr. Adam Walsh and realized what Professor Walsh's real plan was. To resurrect her son who had died in an experiment that Sabari herself played a small part. She had blocked the incident out of her mind.

 

After the car crash, Sabari helped Professor Walsh with her son's body, along with five other of his students. Sabari's medical school thesis on body and mind preservation had been the reason why she was part of this circus with Professor Walsh. Adam was still alive and in pain. His body mangled beyond repair. But for some reason unknown to Sabari at the time, he was still alive. They worked hours trying to keep him alive for as long as Sabari could. Her thesis had never been tried before and the army base medical lab had the ingredients that she had researched. Much to her surprise, but even more to her shock, she did it. Her theory worked on preservation but the mind part was a different story. His brain began to decay and no one knew why. But almost like a spirit inside of her, she instantly knew and took action to stop it. They determined that Adam's memory of his former life and the emotional part of his brain was damaged beyond repair. Professor Walsh was furious at Sabari but, as soon as her fury began, it ended. She hugged Sabari and thanked her. It was the weirdest thing you could have ever seen. All of the other students that were in the lab that night Sabari never saw again. And why she could remember this now she didn't know.

 

"What was that?"

 

"They erased your memory." Holland said flatly. "Professor Walsh couldn't have you walking around like that. You would have caused way too much trouble. Knowing what you knew."

 

Sabari breathed in deeply. "What is it that I am supposed to do?"

 

"For the vampire?"

 

"Yes."

 

"You must give them what they want. No matter what the cost."

 

"What do The First Evil want?"

 

"Your heart, your compassion...basically your soul." Holland replied.

 

"Fine. Let them have it, only if they bring him back."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Absolutely. Feeling no guilt, no remorse might actually be a blessing." A single tear streamed down her face. She was scared but that didn't matter, it was time that she was free, to do what they wanted her to do. It was simply easier to give in and up then it was to fight anymore. "Let them take it. Let them have my soul."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Part 11

 

 

Buffy reached the clearing to find Spike lying on the ground. He looked unconscious and Buffy was definitely glad she brought the duster because he was naked.

 

She gently draped the duster over the vampire and tried to wake him.

 

Spike's eyes fluttered open to see Buffy's tear filled eyes looking at him. His body began to tremble and shake. She pulled his duster further on his shoulders, and took off her own jacket and covered his feet.

 

"Buffy? Where are..." Spike began but Buffy put her fingers to his lips.

 

"Spike, I have to get you out of here it's nearly dawn. We can get back to my place, but we have to hurry."

 

Spike slipped his arms into his duster, finally realizing that he was naked and buttoned it up. The Slayer held onto the fragile vampire as they walked toward her house.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Part 12

 

 

Sabari awoke feeling light for the first time in months. She looked through her closet and grabbed a pair of black jeans and a black tank top. She grabbed her underwear and headed to the bathroom. There was a vampire that she needed to see.

 

 

* * *

 

 

By the time Giles reached the Summers' home, the rest of the gang was already there. Xander and Anya were squabbling over something, while, Joyce, Willow, Tara and Dawn talked excitedly.

 

Willow smiled as soon as she saw Giles.

 

"So what exactly has happened?" Giles asked after getting a frantic phone call from Buffy.

 

"Spike's alive," Willow smiled then flinched as her headache started again. Tara slowly ran her hands along her girlfriend's back. "Buffy found him."

 

"Spike is ALIVE?" Giles asked.

 

"She means undead." Xander corrected.

 

"But how?"

 

"We have no clue Giles. And we haven't heard much from Buffy. She'd been up there with him for an hour now." Xander shrugged.

 

Giles turned and bolted up the stairs as the doorbell rang.

 

Dawn quickly ran to answer it; Willow and Xander were right behind her. Dawn quickly recognized the young woman and smiled, but only briefly until she felt the rising darkness over the figure before her. Dawn backed away slowly not saying a word. Willow looked at the girl who had helped them the night before and then at Dawn.

 

"What no 'Hello'? No 'nice to see you again'?" Sabari smiled, her eyes large, hollow, brown pools of thick mud.

 

Dawn was firmly pressed against the rail of the stairway.

 

"Where's good ol'Spike? I wanted to thank him." Sabari continued to talk.

 

"You're that chick from last night?" Xander didn't even the notice the movement of Dawn or the observance of Willow. "Hey, you were good and..."

 

"Get the hell away from her!" Tara shouted as she walked into the foyer. Xander whipped around to look at the blond witch in confusion.

 

"Why?" Dawn asked suddenly, it even caught Sabari off guard.

 

"Why what?

 

"Why did you do that for him?" Dawn stepped forward. "Why would you sacrifice yourself for a creature you barely knew?"

 

Sabari smiled as she answered. "Easy. I could do good or evil," she shrugged. "Evil just has better benefits."

 

Dawn felt a shiver go through her body as Sabari stepped inside the house. She closed the door behind her and looked menacingly at the humans and The Key before her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Giles entered the room Spike was getting dressed in a pair of black jeans and a black T-shirt that Xander went to his crypt and got.

 

Buffy was sitting on the bed telling him something when they noticed him.

 

"Buffy?" Giles asked. The Slayer looked up at him and then he looked at Spike. His face looked tired and drawn. But what Giles could deduce he was fine. "What is going on?"

 

"Your Slayer was just explaining that to me." Spike said, standing against the wall for support.

 

"It began when I started to dream..." Buffy continued and told her Watcher the full story about the dream.

 

Spike suddenly felt something strange. Buffy stopped mid-sentence and looked at Spike. They both instinctually moved, taking off running down the hall toward the stairs.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tara's purple crystal suddenly darkened and she knew that something wrong she ran to the front of the foyer to see Buffy and Spike descending the stairs and Dawn backing away from a young woman at the door.

 

"Get away from her!" Tara yelled. Spike looked Sabari then at Dawn.

 

"No, it's okay, she's..."

 

"She is evil!" Tara replied with a strained voice.

 

"NO, she's not!" Even as Spike said the words, a part of him knew that something was wrong with her.

 

"That's right, Spike. I am not evil. I'm just the doctor that took out your chip." Sabari smiled coldly as Buffy looked at Spike in astonishment.

 

Spike received accusing glares as the others looked from him to Sabari.

 

"And then look at precious here." She turned back to Dawn. "There are many a thing that would love to have you."

 

Buffy and Spike both stepped forward but not before Sabari grabbed Dawn's shoulders. A red burst of energy sent both females flying backwards. Dawn flew into Spike and both landed with a thud. Meanwhile Sabari went right through the Summers' front door. Spike backed away from the threatening morning rays as Willow helped Dawn to her feet.

 

Suddenly Sabari was standing in the doorway and smiled at the vampire. "Just remember, Spike. I did this all for you."

 

With a laugh Sabari turned and walked toward the street.

 

Dawn began crying as Willow and Tara helped her to the couch. Spike sat in the shadowy corner staring at the door, not even knowing what to think.

 

"What the HELL was that?" Buffy yelled at Spike. The vampire looked up at her in utter disbelief. Buffy's face softened as she saw the genuine look of shock in his eyes.

 

"She is evil." Dawn whispered.

 

"I think we figured that out, Dawn." Xander looked at Buffy. "Was, uhhh, that thing that happened, ahhh, a Key thing?"

 

Buffy turned to Giles who shrugged his shoulders as he walked down the rest of the stairs.

 

"Yes!" Dawn answered vaguely aware of her own voice.

 

Everyone stopped as she continued to talk quietly.

 

"She gave up her soul to bring back Spike. She felt such guilt. She wanted you to be different. She wanted you to survive." Dawn turned to Spike.

 

"Why?" Buffy asked, as she moved to kneel in front of her sister.

 

"Because she knew that he was needed. She knew his future," Dawn looked at Spike as she talked. "She gave up her soul for you."

 

Spike didn't move an inch; he just stared at Dawn. "For me?"

 

The End


End file.
